Government Transcript
Yeah, righto. [clears throat]
-Bingo, go tidy your room. -Nope.
Bingo, go and eat some vegetables.
Nope.
-That's it! -[squeals]
I'm writing a letter to the government.
"Dear Government, my kids don't do anything I say."
Ka-ching! "I tell them to clean their room,
I tell 'em to eat their vegetables,
to obey the speed limit, but they never listen!"
Ka-ching!
"What are you going
to do about this?" Ka-ching!
"Sincerely, Bandit Heeler."
Okay, that should do it.
Now to post this.
-[giggling] -Envelope. Envelope.
-Liiick! -Bleagh!
Put a stamp on it! Liiick!
And stamp! Now to post it.
-[grunts] -[giggles]
Now we wait for the reply. Ahh!
Ding!
Ah, the mail's here.
It's from the government.
[squeals]
Just open the letter.
"Dear Mr. Heeler, your kids' behavior
is not our responsibility. It's yours.
Please enjoy these dump vouchers.
Sincerely, the Government."
What? That's it.
I'm gonna write another letter to the Government.
"Dear Government, if you want my vote this year,
you better buck up your ideas."
-Ka-ching! -[giggling]
"I pay my taxes,
so you have to sort my naughty kids out.
Bandit Heeler."
Envelope. Liiick. Stamp. Post!
Hee-hee! Ding!
Ah, they replied. This better be good.
"Dear Mr. Heeler, your taxes go towards roads
and hospitals and army stuff,
not making your kids listen to you.
We're sorry if we've lost your vote,
but to be honest, you sound like a pain in the bum
and we don't want it anyway.
Maybe vote for the other dudes.
Please enjoy this fridge calendar.
Sincerely, the Government."
What? Argh! This country's stuffed!
[giggles] Again!
[closing theme music playing]